The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion — to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor. — Isaiah 61:1-3 (NIV)
I’m thankful that God has graced me to come alongside people both casually and through coaching for almost twenty years. It’s been an honor to serve my Jesus family in this way.
With that being said, I don’t feel I’m out of line by saying that there is a high percentage of men and women who are continually struggling with wounds from life experiences. I’ve been able to help many connect with what was holding them back from experiencing true healing and breakthroughs, unlocking their new life in Christ.
Many of us know that Jesus heals, but what I’ve witnessed and observed is that most are still carrying a broken heart through life. These wounds of the heart leak out in various forms and negatively affect how we see, behave, and feel on a daily basis.
And I’m not only talking about those who shove their hurt aside, paint on the plastic smile, and have all the right churchy things to say…I’m talking about men and women who have proactively sought after help to process what they’ve gone through.
But they are not fully healed.
They still have residue from the past.
Many will come out of therapy sessions, inner healing conferences, and have taken part in group meetings that are specific to their biggest struggle or hurt, and while they may feel a sense of relief, they are not fully free or healed.
They may have connected to themselves and gained a greater understanding of why they feel the way they do with an ability to explain why they have certain behaviors, but that’s not the new life we have through Jesus.
The past memories and trauma are interfering with their present life and many aren’t even consciously aware.
Here’s the thing — we can go to the most qualified therapist, join support groups, meet with pastoral counselors, find our safe group of friends to share our burdens with, attend all the conferences on inner healing, and involve ourselves in church groups that follow a freedom type curriculum, but leave out the part where we should be going to Jesus directly for His healing touch.
I am not saying all of these groups, people, and tools are inherently bad. I definitely benefitted from biblical counseling in the past. I’m a verbal processor. There was a long season in my life where I struggled to sift through the overwhelming amount of emotions that were bombarding my daily life and talking it out with a safe person helped me connect. I didn’t leave those sessions believing that’s all I needed.
I left those sessions knowing what I needed to bring to Jesus.
So did.
It was messy.
It was painful.
I wondered if I would ever get off the floor when the flood of overwhelming emotions would hit me…
BUT GOD!
He showed up in such beautiful and powerful ways, and it was meant to be shared. Especially within church communities. As someone who has grown up in the church, I’ve seen a lot of good, but I’ve also seen a lot of pressure to be perfect and in control, but also those who are stuck in their “healing process” believing they are “working on themselves.”
Jesus wants to heal so we can live free.
When Jesus heals us, we no longer live with a need to control or fear the what-ifs because we know that no matter what’s up ahead, our God is bigger, and with Him, we have NOTHING to fear!
This unlocks the confidence and faith to go wherever God wants us to, becoming all we were created to be — fearlessly!
Jesus never asked us to fake it until we make it…He said, “Come to Me.”
I got complete freedom and wholeness as I relented to the process of grieving my losses with Jesus. The mind-blowing miraculous took place in my heart, and I walked away in freedom without all the diagnosis and stereotypes that would typically be attached to survivors of the abuse and trauma I’ve experienced — specifically from my previous marriage. I didn’t come out with hatred toward men, a fear of being alone, or a fear of marriage. I had all the symptoms of what would be defined as PTSD and clinical depression, but I chose not to wear my feelings as my identity. Instead, I used my feelings to go deeper with Jesus, and He touched each and every one of the broken places of my heart until I reached complete healing and freedom.
Not that a diagnosis of depression, PTSD, or anything in between is bad (because they aren’t)—they can help identify which angle to receive help and navigate a season, but we need to be really careful that our ‘diagnosis’ doesn’t become confused as our identity or a crutch to remain the same. That’s where those labels can keep us from moving out of the mud pits of life as a Warrior.
This particular healing process that I’m sharing took time. Honestly, it took a lot longer than I wanted, and even after I thought the flashes of past scenes and dips of depression were done and gone, something would “trigger” that deep pain, and I needed to invite Jesus to go deeper, and He met me. The memories that would once trigger a strong emotion out of me became less and less.
My memories are no longer attached to incredible pain but attached to the grace, love, and healing touch of my ever-present Heavenly Father, who comforted me through the process. My heart and my mind are at peace.
I did not pray my feelings away. I couldn’t. I could not talk my way out of what I was feeling. My feelings were real.
I did not live in denial with any of my emotions.
I was honest with my hurt.
I felt extreme depression and anger.
Putting my emotions in their proper place (with Jesus) and then making a conscious choice to get back up (believing He would meet me there) launched me into my freedom.
Now it’s your turn.
Father, I know that life can be hard, but I’ve experienced so much loss it’s overwhelming. I’m not sure if I’ve ever fully grieved the losses I have experienced, and I am not sure I know how. Today, I am surrendering my loss and my pain to You . . . my Divine Healer. I am asking You to show me what has hindered me from living in the fullness and the freedom of joy and peace that I know is mine through Jesus. I have heart-hurt, and while I do believe You are who You say You are, I am finding that there are areas where I am struggling to fully believe that You have total healing and restoration for me. Lord, help me with my unbelief. Highlight to me the areas that have not been met by You so that I can invite You into that place of pain and grieve what was, as I learn to rise and fully step into my new life. I am asking You, Father, for the release of Your Spirit to come into every crack, every crevice, and every cell of my memory that has kept me in bondage to old hurt, trauma, and past pain as I release all my hurt to You. In Jesus’ mighty name, amen.
