Do you struggle with self-hatred and insecurities? I’ve been there.
Years ago, I sat at my little round kitchen table with my Bible and journal, opened to the first blank page, and made two sections. On one side, I wrote every negative word that was spoken towards me, and every negative thought that I had about myself.
Tears began to flow as I sat there in the quiet, I saw the truth on paper—I hated myself.
Up until that point I worked really hard to better myself. I read books on how to love myself, scriptures on how God sees me, I leaned in when our woman’s Bible study would be covering this topic…I genuinely believed everything God says is true, but I didn’t feel it.
I took out a red marker from my oldest daughters “art bin” stored under her bed, and line by line began to cancel out (red representing the blood of Jesus) what I believed about myself. In the column next to each crossed out unloving thought, I asked my Heavenly Father what He says about me.
Every scripture of Truth came to the forefront of my mind that day, but it felt different. His Words came in with power! His thoughts about me rooted in my heart, becoming the confident truth that I live from today.
I couldn’t get myself to this place of confidence. I had to look at the truth of my heart head on and face my insecurities.
I didn’t do it alone. I was vulnerable and real before the Lord, bringing every lie and word curse into His presence.
The Holy Spirit taught me the power of uprooting every wrong and ungodly thought, giving God room to powerfully speak into every place of insecurity. Up until that point, it was just self-talk, trying shove down what was festering in my heart.
I learned to bring every thought and belief that was not of Him out of the hidden places in my heart and into the light of His love so I could receive and see myself the way He does—fearfully and wonderfully made.
This is God’s heart for you too. If you are struggling with insecurities and self-hatred, get into God’s presence. Be honest in that safe space. Trust Him with your vulnerable places, giving Him room to root His heart for you in your heart until His truth is all you believe.