The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.
-1 Timothy 1:5 (NLT)
I have gone through seasons where I have struggled to see people through God’s eyes and genuinely struggled to like them, let alone love them.
I know, shocker, right? (Insert eye roll here)
Upon recognizing my distaste, acknowledged my hidden inner struggle, brought it to the light of God’s presence, and asked my Heavenly Father to show me who they are to Him. I invited the Holy Spirit to help me see them through my Father’s eyes, not my own.
His love overwhelmed me for them.
I didn’t shove away my inner struggle, justify or rationalize my flesh (giving myself a list of excuses and reasons), or even try to find something good about them (try doing that when all you see is their flaws, weakness, and mistakes). Instead, I acknowledged my struggle before the Lord and asked for help.
And He showed up!
I think we forget that we can go to the Holy Spirit for help in all areas of life. As I included Him in this personal struggle, He began to show me how my tendency to judge or criticize (usually in my head) was revealing brokenness or insecurity in myself that was not fully restored in Christ. These moments became an opportunity to invite Him into my places of brokenness and insecurity so I could experience His supernatural healing touch in each area of need. Not only did He touch my insecure areas and reveal a greater understanding of my worth to Him, He flooded me with a love toward someone that I was unable to love in my own strength. This was such an incredible experience, proving I didn’t need to acquire anything or try to “get myself ” to a more loving or accepting place in my heart. Now, when I find myself criticizing, judging, or withholding love, I quickly catch it and ask the Holy Spirit to give me His heart and eyes to see them the way He does. This moves me to a place of compassion and grace with an overwhelming love for them, rather than allowing a toxic thought-life to rip them apart in my head.
Hey, jus’ being real here and calling those judgy, unloving, critical, not-walking-in-grace thoughts what they are . . . TOXIC!
This Holy Spirit-led prayer continues to be a powerful tool that I use regularly. Especially when someone I love hurts me. I wasn’t consciously aware of what I was doing or following any type of step-plan. I just believe that God calls me to love and see others with a pure heart, and in my flesh it’s impossible.
For those who really struggle with letting those negative thoughts go, justifying why it’s ok to think (or speak) them towards any given person, realize you are grieving the Holy Spirit in you.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
— Ephesians 4:29-32 (NIV)
It seems that those who are closest to us can hurt us the most, am I right?
That’s because we’ve given them space in our hearts, and in their humanness, they are flawed just like you and me. Through our Father’s eyes, we can see them through His unconditional love and that they are hurting individuals with brokenness themselves. This perspective moves our hearts to pray for them. While our hearts may hurt deeply, we can invite Jesus to come into that place of wounding for our healing. This new life in the Spirit causes us to soar with wings like eagles high above our feelings and painful situations.
When we surrender our hurts and struggles to God, we can love others like our Father in Heaven, as we become more like Him, seeing others the way He does, living in the supernatural flow of His heart.
Go ahead, ask the Holy Spirit to bring names to your attention right now.
Take the time to bring each person and each heart-hurt to the Father. Confess to Him where you have withheld forgiveness and unconditional love, and forgive those who have hurt you.
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
— Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
Invite Him into the pain these people have caused and believe that He will not only heal those wounds from the past, but He will also fill you until you are overflowing with His love!
You can do this each time something surfaces in your life that reveals where you have heart-hurt from a specific person that you need to forgive and where you need more of God’s unconditional love filling you. Lean into what’s going on in your heart, so you can unclog what’s blocking you from God’s transforming love, receive a healing touch from the Father, and get a breakthrough!
Amen?
I pray today’s encouragement met you; you can read more about God’s love for you and others in my book, Ripple Effect. Grab your signed copy while they are on sale HERE!
Much love, J
