What I’ve observed from so many who genuinely love Jesus is they can talk about God’s love, sing about His love, yet wrestle internally with acceptance. Not just from God, but also with themselves and with others. The struggle is subconscious; it’s a secret battle that is playing out and hurting the body of Christ.
I went to the Lord with my concerns, He said: “What you see is My children who need a revelation of My love. A love encounter with Me.”
Simple truth: When we receive a personal revelation of God’s overwhelming love, and that nothing can separate us from Him—we live differently.
When God’s unconditional love syncs with our hearts, we begin to see everything and everyone, including ourselves, through His amazing love.
Through His pure, unrelenting, overwhelming, all-encompassing, empowering, fulfilling, life-changing, earth-shaking, breathtaking . . . I could go on forever and ever, l-o-v-e—LOVE!
His love changes the very chemistry of our internal wiring—we begin to think differently, act differently, see differently and what flows out of us looks like the love of Jesus that we read about in the Bible. His love is not supposed to be forced; it’s natural. This natural flow of His unconditional love is where forgiving those who have hurt us (or think differently) comes straight from the throne room of Heaven, because we are not stuck in a conditional love that puts parameters on ourselves or those around us. We love because He first loved us, and from there we are empowered to forgive as Jesus does. Loving those who are imperfect (ahem, this includes your family members), or those who don’t know Jesus, does not come naturally unless the overwhelming love of the Father is flooding our lives. This natural love is the effortless rhythm filled with grace upon grace that God has invited us into.
We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. — 1 John 4:16 (NLT)
Are you experiencing this effortless rhythm in your life or is your love toward yourself and others conditional?
Let’s go deeper and a bit more personal . . .
Are you loving your family and those closest to you through God’s overwhelming grace and love, or is it more natural to unleash your anger and impatience on them once you pull away from the church building?
God sees what many hide.
Let’s be honest with our hidden areas and get our hearts right before the Lord. We need the Holy Spirit and an infilling of His unconditional love to love ourselves and others well!
Maybe you’re stuck on this idea that loving yourself is vanity and my mention of this doesn’t sit right with you.
Here’s a scripture to consider, one I’ve reflected on myself:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” — Mark 12:30-31 (NIV)
What if we have self-hate in our hearts?
If we don’t love ourselves well, we cannot effectively love others. In fact, we will end up judging them the same way we judge ourselves. With this being said, let’s include ourselves in the love factor and realize that the measure of grace and love that we need from God is not just for those around us, it’s for us as well. God actually wants us to love ourselves, the way He does.
What I’ve discovered through my own personal journey, coaching sessions, and as I do life with my family of faith, is a gap between knowing about God’s love versus living from a place of unconditional love. The root problem is a lack of trust. Many of us are struggling to trust in God’s unconditional love, not realizing the internal block. When we struggle to trust and simply receive His love, loving others remains a challenge.
Rather than being filled with God’s unconditional love, we are empty and only have a conditional love to give. Then, we meet someone who is, well, prickly, causing a jolt to our system, triggering a negative feeling that causes us to pull back, withholding grace and love. Oftentimes we listen to those feelings and develop a judgment toward that person who rubbed us wrong, sometimes even going as far as to build hatred against them in our hearts. In truth, we are living from our feelings instead of from our new natures, which is to be like Christ, freely loving because He first loved us.
We love each other because He loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? — 1 John 4:19-20 (NLT)
Yikes . . . whoever hates a brother or sister is a liar.
Sounds harsh, right!?
This is God’s Word which is the lamp for our feet that lights up the path of life for us.
So, we really need to take into consideration what may be going on in our hearts.
I get it.
Who wants to admit that there might be hate in their heart toward others?
It’s ugly, right?
Avoiding what’s stirring in our hearts is not going to get rid of it.
The issue festers, creating barriers in our hearts, limiting the flow of God’s love in us and through us, and we become ineffective — limited by our old nature.
The flesh.
Then we read the love chapter in Corinthians and try in our own strength to look like love while struggling with secret battles of guilt and reasoning because of the strong negative feelings that are weighing in. What are we left to do other than learn to work harder at covering up what we are feeling so we can look and sound like love? We end up leaving the Holy Spirit out of the equation, not even considering going to Him for help.
Now, many genuinely believe that reading God’s Word and hearing the messages we’ve been given on love is asking for God’s help, but is it?
We can do a heart check to see if we’ve allowed the Holy Spirit to genuinely help us in the love factor or if we are trying to look and sound like love in our own strength. It begins with being honest with ourselves, a willingness to evaluate what’s going on in our hearts and our thought life, and checking to see if what we are feeling and thinking lines up with the heart of the Father.
Here are some great journal questions to help you connect—
Do you feel a softness toward others, or do you pull back with harsh, unloving thoughts?
Is love truly running through you or are you creating a façade of love by saying all the right things, but feeling the opposite toward others?
Are there people that you have cut out of your life, maybe even your own family members whether the church body or your immediate family, and you are withholding love with your list of justifications and reasons?
Have you been hurt by someone and your thoughts toward them are strong and hate-filled?
Keep in mind I am not referring to a need for safety in abusive situations. That is a completely separate conversation. But we still need to check in with our hearts to find out if hate is stirring.
Looking at these truths will reveal the areas where we are struggling in our flesh, not living by the Spirit, and in need of a healing touch from Jesus.
Father, help me see myself and others the way you do. Show me the areas that have been wounded by life that have become the barriers in my heart preventing me from receiving and releasing Your unconditional love. Reveal the strongholds in my mind that keep me from living confidently loved by You and help me overcome my unbelief. Today, in faith, I am putting my full trust in Your love and forgiving those who’ve hurt me into Your merciful hands. Forgive me for harboring unforgiveness in my heart. I’m realizing it’s a prison keeping me from living loved and releasing Your love to those around me. Heal and restore my heart and mind and fill me with Your love so that what comes out of me toward others looks like You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Today’s encouragement was adapted from my book, Ripple Effect. If you’re struggling to grasp God’s unconditional love and need a fresh revelation, Ripple Effect is a great resource to help you identify your barriers and grow in God’s amazing love. Grab your signed copy HERE!
