Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
—Galatians 1:10 (NIV)
I get asked all the time if I have secret fears as a ministry leader, as a mom, or life in general, and I’m telling you – I don’t.
I’ve learned that when we have fear operating in areas of our lives, it usually reveals the underlying reality that we have some people-pleasing mud and an insecurity of what others will think of us at our core. I’ve experienced many different seasons from many different angles where the support I thought I needed from people was just not present in my life.
Rather than going back to those places where I would receive the “praises of man”or encouragement that my heart was longing for, I turned to God instead. He took me deeper with Him, saturating me in His perfect love. Fear lost its grip, and I no longer feel the pressure to please anyone but Him.
Now it’s your turn.
Maybe this concept is new to you, and you are not quite ready to take the leap of a simple life. And believe me when I say that living to please only Him is the only way to simplify your life – period.
Imagine having no one else to please . . . BUT GOD!
Imagine feeling so confident in Him that you have zero need for any kind of cheerleader in your life – you’re too busy running the race He’s set before you, getting all you need from Him.
Imagine waking up every day and realizing the God of the universe, the One who made you and hand-picked you, wants to direct your every step. As He does, each step taken is purposed towards something greater and more fulfilling than anything you’ve ever experienced in your life.
Imagine knowing that as you live for Him, you become naturally inclined to take care of what God has placed in your life. It no longer feels heavy or done out of obligation but from a place of genuine love and joy and with total freedom.
This is just the beginning of what our lives can look like when we live to please only Him!
Living free, with less stress, less anxiety, less push and pull from a life-plate that we piled way too high and now feel obligated to manage.
Could you imagine a life where the pressure to look good for everyone suddenly disappeared?
Where the word “yes” is genuine and feels like freedom with commitment, rather than the pressure of another’s expectation?
Work—
Serve—
Be—
Do—
GO, GO, GO!!!
Who are you doing all these things for?
If we are genuinely honest with ourselves, we will find there is an underlying truth about the heaviness of our responsibilities.
Our full plate is not necessarily filled with the things that God wanted us to put on it, but overflowing with what we ourselves have said yes to. Because it was a “good” thing, because the opportunity arose because we were asked, because we’re good at it, because it makes us look good because it makes us feel good about ourselves, because “they neeeeed me.” So, it must be right. Right?
Did we check in with Him first?
The more we leave Him out of the equation and live our lives with a subconscious inner need for accolades from people, the more we live with burdens that we were not designed to carry. Then, we add even more to our plate without a yes from God, leading us to anxiety and stress that we wear daily, feeling as if this long to-do list is ours to manage. That’s what life feels like when we are led by “man,” or “self,” not fully surrendered to the will of God and the leading of His Spirit.
Now, I’m not saying taking care of our lives is a bad thing.
Not at all!
Don’t hear what I’m not saying . . . Taking care of our lives from God is a privilege and an honor, from ourselves to our family, friends, school, serving, jobs, and everything else in between. I’m pointing us all to the larger picture here and saying that if we are only doing these things or adding to our responsibilities out of pressure, obligation, or a need in us to be fulfilled, it’s not true freedom.
Not every good idea is a God idea. A bad yes to a good thing will knock us right out of the peace and joy that’s ours through Jesus.
That way of living is oppressive and heavy.
It’s being yoked back into another form of slavery.
It’s a life that is not lived freely but now bound to the expectation (because of insecurity or fear) of what others may think, say, or do . . . or maybe even what we may think of ourselves if we don’t do yet another thing.
Jesus came to set us free, but are we living in His freedom?
What if working as unto the Lord took on a new meaning in our lives, and it really meant . . . JOY?!?
As I was walking another layer of this out with the Holy Spirit (because life’s a process and these layers don’t come off all at once), I put my life-coaching hat on, and I began to notice this theme playing out in life around me. God has a funny way of highlighting the things He’s teaching me, showing me the many ways they are negatively impacting people around me. It didn’t matter who I was talking to, who I was mentoring, or who reached out to me for prayer . . . there seemed to be this invisible pit that was going unnoticed by everyone, and it was playing out in more ways than I could count.
Here are some examples:
The inability to make a decision and stick with it.
Being so driven in a specific direction that others’ needs are dismissed.
The need to please in fear of being judged.
The need to do more in order to feel accepted.
Saying yes when you want to say no.
Saying no out of fear of failing.
An inability to be alone (a constant need for cheerleaders).
An inability to be too close to people (they might notice imperfections).
A life-plate so full you are emotionally and physically falling apart.
Living for the audience.
Striving for an audience.
Running from the audience.
The overachiever.
The underachiever.
The prideful.
The pleaser.
The bully.
The unmotivated.
The perfectionist.
The one with constant stress and anxiety.
The worrier.
The list could seriously go on and on!
These are just a few of the many ways we can be out of alignment and living to please either ourselves or others.
Bottom line, anything we place in our lives that was not God’s will, will lead us straight to nagging stress and tension knots in our stomachs all day long. With the humanistic yes that should’ve been a godly no weighing us down, we block the flow of the Holy Spirit. What we are then forced to project into the lives around us is manufactured fruit because we are under pressure to be an extension of Jesus. So, we put on that plastic smile and press on toward the “prize,” but the genuine and real joy from Jesus is void from our lives.
We are just so good at looking and talking like a “Christian,” aren’t we?
What if we are missing it?
What if we are missing the key component?
What if the insecurity and fears that hold us back and weigh us down are from layers of people-pleasing mud?
What if freely living as the extension of Jesus, releasing His love and joy, naturally begins to flow when we are no longer stuck in the mud of pleasing, freely living for the audience of One?
When we read God’s Word, we discover what being a follower of Jesus Christ looks like, but somewhere along the line, we have crossed over from following Jesus to following others or following others the way they are following Him. Yikes!
We have complicated the simplicity of what following Jesus looks like—not developing a sensitivity to the prompting of the Holy Spirit that should be activated in our lives daily
I’m challenging you to take an honest evaluation of what you’re doing. Check in with your motives and challenge yourself with this question before the Lord: Am I doing this for You or from an unmet need in me?
God wants you to know what it looks and feels like to live from a place of complete freedom with a deep-rooted confidence knowing that you are fully loved and accepted by Him. This confidence will crush fear and unlock His supernatural joy and peace in you until it’s flowing through you, impacting those around you.
